"Great is he, who conquers the frightful. Sublime is he, who, while succumbing to it, fears it not."
Philosopher Schiller

"The art of living well and the art of dying well are one."
Epicurus

The Courage to Be and the Courage not to Be.

"To take into the inmost shrine of the soul the irresistible forces whose puppets we seem to be -- Death and change, the irrevocableness of the past, and the powerlessness of man before the blind hurry of the universe from vanity to vanity -- to feel these things and know them is to conquer them."
Bertrand Russell

"Freud was a hero. He descended to the Underworld and met there stark terrors. He carried with him his theory as a Medusa's head which turned these terrors to stone."
psychiatrist R. D. Laing

"A young shepherd I saw, writhing, gagging, in spasms, his face distorted, and a heavy black snake hung out of his mouth. Had I ever seen so much nausea and pale dread on one face? He seemed to have been asleep when the snake crawled into his throat, and there bit itself fast. My hand tore at the snake and tore in vain; it did not tear the snake out of his throat. Then it cried out of me; "Bite! Bite its head off! Bite!" Thus it cried out of me — my dread, my hatred, my nausea, my pity, all that is good and wicked in me cried out of me with a single cry.
The shepherd, however, bit as my cry counseled him; he bit with a good bite. Far away he spewed the head of the snake — and he jumped up. No longer shepherd. no longer human — one changed, radiant, laughing! Never yet on earth has a human being laughed as he laughed! O my brothers, I heard a laughter that was no human laughter; and now a thirst gnaws at me, a longing that never grows still. My longing for this laughter gnaws at me; oh, how do I bear to go on living! And how could I bear to die now!"

Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra
 
 
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Rwanda 1994
I see no reason to believe that a Benevolent God who watches the sparrow could stomach the immense wasteful suffering and death on Earth. Many of them children. For some this is not a problem but for me I think it is a problem. I feel like the answers never rise to the questions. Epicurus argued this long ago.
 "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?"
Epicurus

Usually the answer is free will but then the problem of determinism comes up. Much of life is determined by accidents of fate. Where one is born, what culture, what time, what people they happen to meet, and many other variables that make free will just another part of the equation. And of course there are natural disasters and animals suffering as well.
Then this usually gets to the "fall of Adam and Eve" but then questions of whether one should be judged on their forefathers and previous generations comes up as a problem. In human courts it would be an injustice to punish a child because their parents broke the law or even worse because their great great grandparents broke the law. That would be unjust.

Darwin made this argument how natural evolution makes more sense with the immense suffering than a benevolent God.
"That there is much suffering in the world no one disputes. Which is more likely, that pain and evil are the result of an all-powerful and good God, or the product of uncaring natural forces? The presence of much suffering agrees well with the view that all organic beings have been developed through variation and natural selection." Charles Darwin

 
 
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I believe it was Christian Apologist Mary Jo Sharp or perhaps Ravi Zacharias who when the problem of evil comes up claim that it is the emotional problem of evil.  Those emotional skeptics versus those  dispassionate rational believers is another dishonest picture painted by desperate apologists who want to change the subject. The argument from Epicurus is strong logically and to pretend otherwise is more obfuscation in Christian apology.  I am sure Mary Jo Sharp and Ravi Zacharias are so beyond mere mortals that emotional attachment has nothing to do with their lives and beliefs? Religion has had such power in human society precisely because of emotion! Religion takes advantage of the emotional family and community ties to influence individuals to join a particular faith group. The emotional connection to children, mates, and parents are often key to making one stay in their religious group.  The emotional cultural moments of marriage, the birth of children, and the death of loved ones keeps many people attached to their religion on emotional needs alone. The pursuit of what is true is not even on the agenda when your life is so tied to the community of faith. Christian apologists are mere mortals who are susceptible to emotional attachment needs like any other human being. To pretend otherwise is intellectually dishonest and emotionally dishonest!

       Religion -Birth, Sex, and Death. The Cultural Emotional Meme Par Excellence